The Lurking Danger of Online Dating 11 Signs to beware of

11 signs to beware of if venturing into meeting friends online.

In this lockdown season, many people who are single and especially those who live alone will be flocking to the internet to seek out companionship, whether out of boredom or intentional or you would simply be minding your own business and someone pop into your inbox. Whether you are seeking casual friendship or a possible romantic relationship there are a few things you should be aware of before you plunge into this exciting adventure.

While there are many genuine and sincere persons out there who seek the same, there are some very evil ones whose sole intent is to take advantage of you in whatever way they can. If you don’t believe me, just check out some horrific true stories documented and posted on YouTube. Inform yourself. The ugly truth is out there, everything is google-able. Both from the women who lost thousands of dollars and the men who received thousands from those they took advantage of. For those guys, it is a business, they refer to whomever they are trying to catch as, The Client.

The younger ones usually target older women, their sole intent is to charm your bank account dry, because generally older women are more vulnerable and lonely, especially if you have divorced or lost your spouse through death in your experience. These guys are trained to tell you whatever they feel you need to hear to mess with your psyche. They will shower you with words of affirmation, using all the sweetest words they can put together to dive in for the kill sooner rather than later. Very few women would admit this but a lot of you fall in love with or are stimulated by what you hear.

Often times the women will neglect their own family and close friendships or anyone who tries to talk sense into them about the dangers of their relationship with the stranger. The sad part is by the time the woman finds out that she had been scammed, she is too deeply humiliated and scarred; she may even commit suicide. This ish is serious. According to the bureau’s Internet Crime Complaint Center, there are at least over 25,000 complaints and about $230 million-plus reported lost to scammers. And the sad part is they get away with it. So ladies guard your heart and don’t fall prey to these monsters. Here are a few guidelines that should help you to guard your dignity and your bank account. The information is here, so it’s now totally up to you to implement so you can protect yourself.

1. Be very clear with yourself as to what your personal goals are when venturing out to make friends online. Set clear boundaries and be very firm in implementing those. Keep it moving if any of your none negotiables are violated. Guard your personal information as if your life depended on it. Do not share your telephone number or email address or any other personal information as a matter of fact. On the other side of the screen is someone very real, they may or may not be genuine, if you are unfortunate to cross path with a scammer his/her sole purpose is to steal your money, bare that in mind.
2. Pay Attention! These 2 words can save your life. To really pay attention, you must learn to develop absolute trust in your inner GPS. All of us have one. Even though you cannot see the other person, you can feel them, we are all connected, vibes don’t lie and Spirit doesn’t mislead. Learn to trust yourself so you can know when something is off despite what you are being told. They somehow have the talent to capture your attention, and will tell you whatever they think everyone woman wants to hear. According to the info I saw in one documentary they are very serious about what they do, they will even go to a spiritual person who they supposedly believe will help them to cast their spell. So learn to trust your feeling aka inner GPS, it will never misguide you.
3. Here is why #2 is of absolute importance. The scammers would use professional photos of very distinguished looking gentlemen, who are mostly of Caucasian descent to lure you in. They will often use photos of professional men for example well decorated US Army officers or Pilots, and most of the time if you should check out their social media profile, there won’t be many photos displayed outside of the one used as their profile photo. If someone’s social media profile looks or feels sketchy, get the hell out of there, hit the block & delete button immediately. As a matter of fact, if it looks too perfect that’s a BIGGER RED flag. Apply the same actions if you are on a dating site. 
4. If you decide to sign up on a dating site, those are also not very safe. These guys are everywhere and their game is the same. Be very careful of the information you share on your profile, while there are the ones who are looking for a possible Mrs. Right, there are those whose sole mission is to find Miss Easy-to-fool for their financial gain. Be on high alert when getting involved in chats with persons who only have limited access and be equally cautious of the ones who are also paying for the use of full access. Remember it’s their business and for some, going all the way to appear as though they have good intentions is an investment they are willing to go the extra mile for.
5. Ladies, men know that most women fall in love with words, and I can tell you when an African man decides to sweet talk you, you would swear your mama is the Queen of England by the time he is done with you. They are the kings of telling women what they want to hear while appearing genuine. Their words would sound like it came off of a movie script and I am sure some of them do. They come across so sincere if you don’t have that special connection with Divine Intelligence and Wisdom you would be a goner. They are masters of love language and poetry.
6. If you are feeling vulnerable and or neglected, or is having relationship issues stay away from the internet, it is highly likely that you can fall prey to one of these ill-intentioned gentlemen whose bottom line is to charm you out of every penny he can get from you. He will woo you until he gets what he wants, you will be falling in love with sweet nothings so fast you won’t know what hit you.
7. It is easy to tell when you are speaking to someone with an African dialect, even though most have a very good command of the English language, most people write it the very same way they speak it, so once you are paying attention it will be easy to pick it up there is an accent without hearing an audible word. You may barely say hi and often times their next sentence will be, “So please can we be friends” Sounds polite right. “Please” used in the middle or end of the sentence is a clear indicator you are speaking with an African. They have a beggie, beggie persona. No pun intended to my African friends.
8. If you decide to engage in a conversation, listen out for the sad, sappy stories, most of them will always have one, they will have a child and the mother died while she was giving birth, or the wife ran off with the best friend or died in a terrible car accident or some form of terminal illness, and they are raising their child alone. The purpose of these sad tails is to prey on your empathy, they know women are soft caring beings and the sappier their story is, it is highly likely they will be able to reel you in for the kill. Remember getting you to send money is their ultimate goal. Your ultimate goal should be, to not be swindled out of your hard-earned cash by some weasel who thinks he or she is slick. Don’t get it twisted women are in it too.
9. It is possible that the person at the other end of your device may not be in Africa and may very well be in the USA or other countries, if they manage to get as far as giving you their number, pay attention to the digits, as I mentioned earlier, everything is google-able. I remember back in the day everyone had a Magic Jack, this meant you could be anywhere in the world and have a US telephone number. Not sure if those are still in use these days since Whatsapp seems to be the thing. Remember some guys will disguise their true identity by using someone else’s photos and there are the ones who are confident enough and will remain true to their identity so they could do what they need to do. I was told that Caribbean women love a white man especially Trini women. So to lure a Caribbean or Trini woman I imagine they would go for the ultimate kill, a handsome well decked off US Army Officer or clean wall-street type in a suit. Just like our male counterparts, women are very visual too, so the more handsome and well put together the man is; beware. Be very suspicious of photos that have that GQ/Magazine finished quality.
10. This one is the ultimate. It cracked me up, every woman goes goo-goo gaga over a man who prays with her, right. Well, these fools know that. They will often display a persona of being very highly spiritual and will quote every scripture in the bible for you. They will tell you that they pray for you and would share the perfect dream they had of you and it never entails sex; they will paint a picture-perfect movie scene of a dream for you, your hair blowing in the wind type of shit, all the mushy details and by the time they are through painting the most romantic fantasy,  you will be convinced that God told them that you are the woman of your dreams. You are the one God told them they should marry. So ladies please be on your guard and develop your own intimate relationship with Spirit and learn to trust your own inner GPS so you don’t get fooled with words that are only intended for you to fall into the traps of these desperate no good humans.
11.  Also, beware of the ones who are just looking to get their freak on. Set clear boundaries, and be clear with yourself as to what is appropriate or inappropriate for you. You are the adult. Once you decide what your purpose and intent are for putting yourself out there. DO NOT settle. When your boundaries are crossed, cut it off immediately. No apologies or excuses accepted. SHUT THAT SHIT DOWN. No explanation needed or given. Hit that block/delete button immediately so you can save yourself from any kind of future drama and or heartache.

Do not be discouraged, for every ill-intentioned person out there, there are a thousand good ones with decent intentions. They are not all that bad. I am an optimist, the purpose of me sharing is so you are aware of the dangers lurking out there in the online dating world. You are hopefully now in a better position to protect yourself, the responsibility is solely on you to what is best for your personal protection.

I have quite a few friends who met their life partners online and are in healthy beautiful relationships some are happily married. I also personally have met some amazing people online, including meeting some of them in person and have some who I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting yet, but we have known and have been friends for many many years, no drama. Once you are clear about what you are looking for and why you are there, with your boundaries in place, ask Spirit to guide you and have fun. Love & Light.